you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize