Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
