Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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