new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize