He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
