I'm really into asian looking animals
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
