It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Randomize
