There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
