i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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