I cannot find my penis.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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