I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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