My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
