She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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