Kiss
Puke
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
