yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
