The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
