If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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