I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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