I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
