..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
