he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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