shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
