I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Randomize
