Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
