Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Randomize