Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
