Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I touched a dick in church today
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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