I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my phone needs a breathalizer
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
