Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
