Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
