You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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