She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
