She announced her abortion via fbk
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
