well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
