Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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