Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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