Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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