they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize