if i can run in heels then i can drive
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
