..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize