I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
