i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
