we're blogging at a bar
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
