shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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