I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
