oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
