who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
