Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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