Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
