I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
