I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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