Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
