Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
