i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize