We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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