Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
