If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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