It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
is wine microwaveable?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
