eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
