there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize