so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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