You just made me feel so damn special
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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