I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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