Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Pants are for mortals
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
