I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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